just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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