Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
