I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Barsexuality is the new black.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
