this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize