I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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