yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
