party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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