Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
