I need help removing her.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
