Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
