...so i touched it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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