I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my sisters under your porch take her home
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
