i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
