Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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