My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
