So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
