Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize