they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
