I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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