i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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