So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
