she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
