There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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