Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
