TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
