I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
