Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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