Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
