I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
