I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize