if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
