help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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