Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Damn victory sex feels great
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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