I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize