He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
