Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My pussy is not your playground.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
