No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
soo... how was my night?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize