My friends, they love my intelligence
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
