Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
