We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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