what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
