I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
