winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
