My brain says no but my pants say off.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
