my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
