Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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