It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
