I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
