one word: firstdatebathroomanal
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I see more hoeing in ur future
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