I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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