i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
