So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
