i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
