Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
