I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
