she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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