i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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