Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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